I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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