This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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