Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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