Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
