i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
