Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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