I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
