theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I can't turn off my feet"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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