Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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