So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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