I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
