Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
