im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
