tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I supernannyed him into submission
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
