Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
