I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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