I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
two words...techno handjob
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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