I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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