Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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