There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
