I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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