You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
