There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
