Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize