Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Duck Duck Cougar?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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