if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
