Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize