i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
