Are we in a gay sports bar?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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