The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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