And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
