Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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