So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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