If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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