I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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