Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
