rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
