A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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