i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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