I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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