Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
