I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
