does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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