I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize