I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
