Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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