Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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