I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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