My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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