she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
