I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.