It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That's how pantless uber rides happen