So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.