If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only