great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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