Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
