There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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